Interview Transcript

It turns out I'm not THAT great of an interviewer... so my footage sort of has multiple arcs going on at the same time...? I feel like I could either focus on Ashleigh as a wife and Mother trying to find her own independence, or how she was close with her Mom and how her pregnancy changed their relationship/her Mom's relationship to Ashleigh's daughter, or just focus on her "what's next after being a Mom" is finding her own independence...? I highlighted a couple of points that seemed like good markers for a beginning, middle or end.

Interview w/ Ashleigh Transcript

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[00:00:21.01] i was raised by a single mother

[00:00:23.08] so my mom and I are very very very close

[00:00:27.12] probably too close because she's more so my best friend than anything else

[00:00:33.26] I had come to new york to spend the summer with my dad

[00:00:38.29] my mom had like redecorated my room, painted it, new bed, new closet, it was so fancy

[00:00:46.12] but I still slept with my Mom in fact I slept with her until I was 16

[00:01:03.10] now though, we're not - we are still very close like we speak probably seven times a day but because I live 200 miles plus away from her

[00:01:21.11] we don't see each other as often but she def facetimes me more times than i'd like to answer

[00:01:38.23] but now I'm thinking about it she doesn't respect the fact that i'm a grown ass woman

[00:01:45.03] like i'm not like a play play woman like i'm a grown woman with like a partner a child my own home

[00:01:52.17] she don't respect that she thinks that im still a child i don't like that

[00:01:58.05] we do bump heads a lot bc she's always trying to tell me what to do

[00:02:03.00] i will be 31 in september and you can't tell me what to do

[00:03:40.21] but she was excited for me to be independent cause my mom has always been indie on her own

[00:03:54.08] so she wanted me to learn independence

[00:03:57.19] she was happy that i was going but she knew she was going to be lonely

[00:04:09.19] so she was happy

[00:04:12.01] happy and nervous

[00:04:16.00] not controlling though

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[00:00:20.02] i don't know when i realized that i was independent -  you know, quite honestly i dont think that i have actually gained my independence

[00:00:37.28] until i lived off campus and moved in with my partner, because like, on campus you always have someone there to like, make sure you're okay, you have your roommate, right next to you, soooo or you have your like, teachers checking up on you or you have

[00:01:04.23] different things going on so you're really, like you have some sort of independence because you dont have to check in with anybody, however you’re still being taken care of bc if i was hungry or i needed money to go hang out with friends or like shopping id still call my mom

[00:01:21.03] so i dont think i gained independence until i was... about 24.

[00:01:31.12] cause like my mom had always taken - taken care of me bc i had never worked so... then, even now this is gonna sound sad, but, my partner

[00:01:40.23] he didnt want me to work, so i've - i've started my own event planning company bc i got bored

[00:01:46.24] but i didnt have to work - i did it bc i was bored at home, i wanted a hobby, but i didnt do it to make money

[00:01:54.28] cause, technically he really doesn't want me to work, like he'd prefer if i was like, barefoot in the kitchen at home everyday

[00:02:02.27] so, like, im still trying to get some independence and now that graduation is around the corner and im like, looking profusely for jobs, now i have this degree, i think almost turning 31 i will FINALLY gain some independence

[00:02:24.19] it's sad, but exciting at the same time - mhm

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[00:03:56.29] so it was going to be my last semester of hofstra because

[00:04:01.19] the year before i had lost my grandfather and i had lost 12 of my cousins

[00:04:10.21] in the earthquake in haiti within like 15 days of each other

[00:04:15.22] so i like basically didn't do well like i was not trying to do anything

[00:04:22.29] so i knew this was going to be my last semester which was

[00:04:28.22] fall 2012

[00:04:31.08] so my last semester there i had taken a sociology class called love and -  no family and marriage

[00:04:41.16] basically like what the family unit means and like what it means in different countries and religions and cities and blah blah blah

[00:04:55.16] so at this point i was not living on campus anymore i was living with my aunt who lived like

[00:05:05.01] 15 minutes away from Hofstra

[00:05:10.28] i was on my way to hofstra and i left my notebook on my bed and i was like uhhhh its too late im already here

[00:05:17.21] so im sitting in class and i turn around and i ask this guy

[00:05:23.14] i said HEY do you have any paper?

[00:05:26.04] he was like whhhhaat?

[00:05:27.24] do you hhhhhaave paaaapppper?

[00:05:30.00] hes like ohhhhh yeah yeah yeah i have it

[00:05:32.15] so he gives me the paper

[00:05:34.16] i was like ohhh thank you and hes like no - no problem.

[00:05:38.08] SO after class i was like, HEY YOU'RE REALLY SMART AND IT SEEMS LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING do you mind if we like can study together?

[00:05:46.13] he's like uhhhh yeah sure

[00:05:49.13] and - and he said uhh when? and i was like SHIT  can you do it tonight cause we got a test coming up and i need help

[00:05:57.20] he was like YEAH i don't see why not

[00:06:00.11] so we go to the library

[00:06:03.00] we get maybe like 10 minutes of studying in

[00:06:06.18] and then we just start talking about like life and who each other are and mmmm just talking and he's like

[00:06:16.13] ummmm we should wrap it up because like im getting hungry and i was like okkay he was like you're not hungry? and i said YEAAAH I'M HUNGRY

[00:06:22.27] HES LIKE LETS GO OUT TO EAT

[00:06:24.15] and im like OKAAAAY

[00:06:26.14] OKKAAY BOO WASSUP?

[00:06:28.12] like at this point i don't get - i don't eat GOOD like im still a college student i was like okaaaaay

[00:06:34.05] SO THEN we go to legal seafood

[00:06:37.28] I KNOW - fancy

[00:06:40.06] we go to legal seafood which is in garden city right by hofstra

[00:06:44.23] and he orders like this african wine tryin' be fanccccyyy

[00:06:50.15] i was like okkkaaay this is cute

[00:06:53.10] and then he drops me home

[00:06:58.21] AND I've been with him ever since

[00:07:01.16] everyday, we started going to church together - it was so cute

[00:07:06.27] i love him - he gets on my nerves but i really love him like he gave me like the greatest gift in the whole world soooo

[00:07:13.21] i guess i'll stay around even though i wanna like kill him

[00:07:20.04] this is a littler personal but there's a big age gap inbetween us

[00:07:25.04] 15 years - i know

[00:07:28.24] he's - uh - he tryin' to rob cradles, BUT (laughs)

[00:07:32.09] you know, uhhhm i'm like an erica girardi  - do you watch like, housewives of beverly hills? in like ericia jane and her like rich husband

[00:07:45.00] you can call me erica girardi

[00:07:52.07] so he gave me my daughter, zoey ivan atkinson, like the best person in the entire world

[00:07:59.13] she's a little terror BUT she's awesome

[00:08:05.04] she's fuckin' awesome she gives me issues like she's given me issues FROM THE DAY I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS PREGNANT (laughs)

[00:08:13.07] and not in like a bad way like ohhhh like i wish i didn't have her but just that

[00:08:18.03] i had a really really really rough pregnancy like i had like

[00:08:24.00] what do you call it? i had like uhhhmmmm

[00:08:26.23] prenatal like diabetes, i had like placenta previa it was like the worst

[00:08:33.24] and ummm

[00:08:37.00] and i don't remember why but i had to get like a genetics test done

[00:08:42.09] and they were like - when the results called - when the results came they gave me a call like, oh miss nixon, we need to talk to you and i'm like

[00:08:51.00] about what? and their like your results came back and they weren't good there's like an 80% chance that your child won't live past 3 months

[00:09:01.03] like - ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? I HUNG UP. i don't have time for fucking news like that over the phone

[00:09:07.09] so like i drop down

[00:09:09.22] and was like, CRRRYING crying crying crying and then im like - why am i crying?

[00:09:15.26] who do - like they NOT JESUS - LIKE THEY DON'T KNOWWW

[00:09:20.02] and im like OKAY so then i had - uh

[00:09:25.17] (sighs)

[00:09:27.14] i can't even think of the procedure like when they like put this big fucking needle in your stomach to remove fluid to test it - what is it called?

[00:09:36.14] probably shouldve thought of these terms before i talked about this interview but -

[00:09:42.00] whatever -  so i had that done twice because the first time they messed up and the fluid wasnt ready to be pulled from the needle so it was like really tough

[00:09:51.19] then the second time - i - and then i fainted (laughs)

[00:09:54.18] i fainted - fucking fainted cause like the pain was like too much

[00:09:59.08] and then (pause)

[00:10:02.11] don't worry it's gonna get better - its not sad

[00:10:05.08] and then ummmm

[00:10:08.24] yeah, so then like i was given my like, due date - it was like 11 - april 11th

[00:10:13.12] and because - oh - it was called gestational diabetes

[00:10:16.29] so because i had gestational diabetes, that means that i have to give birth on that date otherwise your child can come out like, broad-shouldered and not be - not be able to move through the canal

[00:10:29.12] so it's a serious thing

[00:10:31.16] so i went (laughs) so my due date was a thursday but i went in on Wednesday bc i thought my water had broke

[00:10:42.00] cause there was like fluid coming down - im like, oh shit babe, like

[00:10:45.26] IT'S HAPPENING

[00:10:47.18] no. i peed on myself in the middle of my living room thinking - (laugh)

[00:10:53.23] he's like, ASHLEIGH you're so ridiculous - im like - im sorry babe

[00:10:57.23] i didn't - i didn't feel it coming (laughs)

[00:11:01.22] i didn't KNOOOWW what was happening - so THEN THEY'RE LIKE you might as well just stay here, miss nixon

[00:11:06.17] cause you have um your delivery date is tomorrow and i was like okaaaay

[00:11:11.24] they gave me like this really nice room cause its like a new hospital in new hyde park

[00:11:17.13] and uhhhhhh

[00:11:21.06] yeah so, im there all day - they broke my water

[00:11:24.02] and still she was not coming

[00:11:27.23] then - contractions start

[00:11:32.10] (laughs) hmmmmm.

[00:11:34.06] i don't wish that feeling on ANYBODY

[00:11:39.07] LIKE, i thought i was gonna di- i was like you know what forget it just - i'm just gonna just die cause its SO painful

[00:11:46.00] and william, that's my partner, he had like, on like this hoodie, because he had never - after what i thought my water broke he had never went home

[00:11:56.05] and it's so funny - we had like, at the time, we had like a big range rover

[00:12:00.21] so he double parked it in front of the hospital and he actually never moved it for three days

[00:12:05.09] and i don't know how it was still there, BUT -

[00:12:08.04] WHATEVER, so he had on like a hoodie and like every time a contraction would start i would like GRAB him by the hoodie and like twist it and he's like, babe i can't breathe

[00:12:17.23] like, i don't CAAARE

[00:12:19.22] AND THEN... and then here comes dramatic Zoey

[00:12:22.23] they're like - they rush in, like all these doctors rush in

[00:12:26.20] and they're like ms. nixon, we have to do an an emergency c-section

[00:12:30.28] and im like, WHYYYY - they're like, every time you have a contraction, your daughters heart rate slows down

[00:12:37.05] im like, OOHHHHH my god, this is too much

[00:12:40.10] and then they have me sign paperwork, i was like, what is this? like, its too much. like slow down. they're like, oh this just - and then she's just says it so casually - OH, WELL THIS IS JUST IF SOMETHING HAPPENS, LIKE WHO DO YOU DECIDE TO LIVE   - YOU OR YOUR DAUGHTER?

[00:12:54.13] i said, EXCUSE ME? she says, i know, i dont mean to like scare you but this HAS to be signed before you go and i was like

[00:13:03.16] well, TAKE ME - i'll die, just let her stay alive, so they're like - okay

[00:13:09.17] so they prep me in the room, william's getting prepped - he has like, on like a bonnet and a - a blue smurf suit

[00:13:16.29] I'm in the room, they lay me out like jesus christ on the cross - like my arms are on the side of me and i see william come in

[00:13:28.01] and he like, has big eyes - and i said, why are your eyes so big?

[00:13:32.14] and he said, i think i just seen your bladder on the table

[00:13:36.17] (giggle) and i said, what? he said, baby -  do you know they started already?

[00:13:40.20] cause i - they had, um - juiced me up with all this stuff, so from the waist down, i dont feel anything - or whenever - i dont feel anything

[00:13:53.07] like, my fingers is the only thing i can feel

[00:13:55.24] so apparently like, im already cut open and like, i dont know this cause like OHHH I DONT KNOW THIS cause there's a cloth in front of me so you cant see out

[00:14:07.04] and uhhhhhmmm next thing i know i hear WAAAAAAAHHHH and i was like, what's that? they're like, that's your baby and i said... oh shit.

[00:14:17.28] and that's the day i gave birth (laughs)

[00:14:22.15] the day i gave birth to the most amazing human being in the entire world

[00:14:26.09] (burps) OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY (LAUGHS) I'M SO SORRY (LAUGHS SOME MORE)

[00:15:07.18] what kind of mom am i? or...

[00:15:10.28] i don't take no shit from anybody

[00:15:15.29] and my daughter thinks its funny when like, i yell - ill say zoey dont do that and then she'll like - okkaaaay, mom and she'll roll her eyes and it’s like no im serious she said, OKKAAAY

[00:15:28.01] and then like, she won't take me seriously until i say FUCK ZOEY IM SERIOUS

[00:15:33.07]OHHHH YOU REAL SERIOUS NOW

[00:15:35.01] she's always tryna tease me

[00:15:41.14] i dont know - i think - i think im a great mom, but thats just my opinion

[00:15:46.25] like, she's very spoiled, like if we're laying in bed, and we're watching a movie she'll say, ooooh mom im so thirsty

[00:15:55.16] and i'll say, okay zoey i'll get you something to drink

[00:15:58.21] ohhhh you read my mind or... like that, so im always like, doing stuff for her and her dad is always like,

[00:16:05.23] like, if she's sitting on the couch, he'll like prop her up and put pillows under her legs and like, give her a pillow behind her back, like, are you comfortaaabbble? im like, i'll get that

[00:16:16.24] so i think we're ... a good team

[00:16:21.24] but i, personally just about me being a mother, i think im a great mother - i feel like there are things i can improve on, things like my tones sometimes

[00:16:30.06] and my patience... cause sometimes i have so much going on and when she's a little terrorists, i dont know really... i'm trying to learn patience again

[00:16:41.05] but, i think - yeah, i mean as i get older, i feel like there will be things that - um -  i'll improve on, causes shes like my patience and then as she gets older she'll learn to listen better

[00:16:56.10] cause i felt - that's the only issue that i have with her - that she just doesn't listen bc she's so damn sassy

[00:17:02.21] like, she thinks she's like, my mother - she'll be like, you ARE MY DAUGHTER, i'm like, nooooo zoey, I'M your mother - you're my daughter

[00:17:10.02] mmm -mm, mm-mm

[00:17:12.14] but, my mom (sigh) my mom, LOVES - so stupid - so when i first got pregnant, my mom's like, I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GOING TO LOVE THIS BABY - YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE A CHILD, blah blah blah - YEAH FUCKIN' RIGHT

[00:17:28.22] she's calls zoey, she bought zoey an iPad - just so she can facetime her whenever she wants - she's so full of shit

[00:17:35.17] when she first said that - i was like, really mad, but now it doesn't even matter bc they're ALWAYS together, their birthdays are like, 10 days apart, so they're SUPER CLOSE

[00:17:45.06] they're both like, little divas, like they both LOVE shopping

[00:17:50.17] so, they're - they're extremely close, SOOOO...

[00:17:57.27] so yeah - that's me - ashleigh nixon  joseph with a 4 year-old and a partner who's 15 years older than me aaaaand me trying to gain my own independence - one day at a time.

[00:18:42.02] a lot of people say, like - ohhh you don't get any sleep, but that's okay, because i'm like a night owl anyway so im always up to like, the wee hours of the morning

[00:18:51.11] not so much now, but before so - i dont know, what would i tell my pregnant...

[00:18:57.09] have faith, yeah. to have faith that things will get better

[00:19:03.01] and ... with like, prayer and like, being diligent and being nice ... and being empathetic and loving... i think that all things will just work out, especially with like - what is it? like, faith without works... or works without faith...

[00:19:24.26] damn, i'm always trying to say something and now i cant even think of it (laughs)

[00:19:28.28] but , it's gonna' work itself out. mm. cause you just have to have faith. mhm.